Apathetic Procrastinator

Finally!

2006-07-01T19:42:00.000-05:00

After months of not searching at all, I've been offerred a new job. It was at the same place I interviewed at a couple of months ago. The pay is a little less than I was hoping for, but it's still more than what I'm making now. But the part I always dread is coming... giving my two weeks notice. Then comes the inevitable questions from the co-workers about why your leaving. What am I supposed to say, "I'd make $6,000 less if I stayed here and the only way I'd get a promotion is if one of you died."?

But of course with the good comes the bad. My mother is coming into town next weekend to paint the place. Good times! It's been a while since I've been told what exactly is wrong with my life and how I suck at keeping my place clean. I guess I'm due for a reminder.

My Weekend

2006-06-04T19:30:00.000-05:00

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! I received my DVD of Clone High this weekend. ("Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedeys!") Through Peerflix, I also received a 1934 version of Jane Eyre which I laughed hysterically over, and the George C. Scott version of Jane Eyre which put me to sleep.

And after going almost two months without speaking to my mother (except for the infamous Mother's Day coversation), I finally spoke with her this evening. Of course, my dad had to practically force the phone into her hand, but we had a civil conversation and ended with I love you's on both of our sides. Peace has been restored... for now.

Movie Madness

2006-05-29T14:48:00.000-05:00

I went a little crazy this weekend and spent the entire time watching movies:

Casino
GoodFellas
The Godfather
The Godfather II
The Shining
South Park Movie
North Country
Dynasty: Season One (the first half)

Shut up Bea. Shut up Jack.

2006-05-21T16:31:00.000-05:00

House of Elliot: Season 2 - Couldn't even finish all the DVD's before I gave up and returned the whole lot to Netflix. Bea and Jack continued to have the same freakin' arguement they've always had. Evie decided that having an affair with a married man was a good idea. And Jack cheated on Bea. It was Days of Our Lives, but with flappers.

Match Point - Interesting movie and I enjoyed it, but there was something...off about it. Something about the dialogue bothered me, especially with Scarlett Johanson. The dialogue between Nola and Chris when they first meet was just plain strange. The way they acted towards each, I expected to find out that they were already sleeping together.

Happy Mother's Day

2006-05-14T19:25:00.000-05:00

I don't have the best relationship with my mother. She's not evil or anything, she's just not a very supportive or sympathetic person. Our contact is limited to once a week phone calls where she harps on my single status, weight, and job while also telling me what my brother the soon-to-be lawyer is up to. Since I dislike being treated like a twelve year-old, talking to her is my least favorite activity of the week. So I didn't call her last week...or the week before.

Of course I called her this morning (I'm not completely heartless), but no one was at home. I called again this evening as was informed by my mother:

1. The flowers I sent her were dead and I shouldn't have even bothered (never mind that my account was unknowingly overdrawn when I made that $50 purchase).
2. If I actually called them then I would know that they were out of town.
3. Since my last rent check to them was one day overdue, I owe them $25.

That was it. My dad gamely tried to engage me in conversation. According to my cell phone, the call lasted 8:13. The last mother's day I ruined for her, I was 17. So I should be good for another 10 years.

Drinking The Kool-Aid

2006-05-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

I am embarassed to say that I now have a myspace account. I had refused so long to even go on the site, believing it was it was 14 year olds and the pedophiles who love them. But I've found several friends I'd lost contact with, including my best friend from high school.

At least I fornicate with my own class

2006-05-03T20:00:00.000-05:00

So I watched Catherine Cookson's The Moth this evening, mainly because Jack Davenport is in it. Okay, only because Jack Davenport was in it. The movie was good, better than its American equivalents, those Danielle Steel made-for-tv movies. The story is basically about a poor, but self-educated man who works for and eventually falls in love with a beautiful upper-class, but impoverished lady who takes care of her child-like sister. Poor Jack... He's accused of impregnating and abandoning his cousin, but no one really seems to mind until the girl and her child die. His name is finally cleared, but then is ostracized by some for not volunteering to sign up for the army during WWI. Then he gets flack for falling in love with someone above his station. Then he both his arms are severly burned in a fire. At least he gets the girl in the end.

Color Me Bitter

2006-05-01T19:05:00.000-05:00

I confided in a fellow co-worker about my interview at another agency. She told me that she knows a girl who works there and they just hired someone for the position I interviewed for. The guy is 22, just out of college, and has no work experience let alone insurance experience. His starting salary? $42,000. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Ryan Reynolds and George Eliot

2006-05-01T18:49:00.000-05:00

I love Ryan Reynolds. I loved him in Waiting despite the unimaginative plot, I loved him in Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place despite the stupid title, and I loved him in Van Wilder despite my deep hatred for Tara Reid. I was fully prepared to love him in Just Friends, and I did, but sadly that wasn't enough. I didn't get what was so freakin' special about Jamie that made him make a total ass of himself to try to win her. I was almost hoping that he would end up with Sam who, despite being completely batshit crazy, is at least interesting. When he calls Jaime a tease and says that she peaked in high school, I cheered. Then I groaned when he went crawling back to her to apologize.

On the other side of the spectrum is the BBC's adaptation of George Eliot's Middlemarch . I've never read any of Eliot's works before, but I have heard this was a faithful version. Unfortunately, I never really got into it. There's not one major character I really sympathize with and I'd like to smack each one of them for one reason or another.

Dorothea for being completely humorless. It's admirable that she is so interested in learning and helping others and I do feel bad for her because the education she so desperately wants is denied to her, but the girl is a wet blanket. She has the air of someone who acts like they're better than other people because she denies herself. And her mourning clothes made her look like Grandma Moses, which is just hysterical.

Mr. Casaubaun for being an idiot when it comes to his wife. Why does he even marry her in the first place? He knows that she is interested in his work and in helping him complete his book, but once they are married he completely shuts her out. He has no trust in Dorothea's affections and is intimidated by her intelligence. And the codicil in his will? Insulting.

Mr. Brooke for being completely clueless, selfish, and ignorant.

Dr. Lydgate for being blinded by beauty. He let his dick do the thinking when he chose his wife and now he's paying for it.

Rosamond Lydgate for being so materialistic and stupid. What made her think that as a younger son, her husband was wealthy? Or that he would ever think about leaving Middlemarch? Like her husband, she was blinded by good looks.

Fred Vincy for being a selfish, lazy brat. Having Mary's father vouch for his debt? Asshat. It's time for him to stop complaining, get off of his ass and do something.

Mary Garth for staying with Fred. She wants him over Rev. Farebrother? She deserves Fred.

Will Ladislaw for... actually, I really don't care about him one way or another.

Is It Over Yet?

2006-04-27T16:57:00.000-05:00

Ways to Pretend to Work While Waiting for Lunch Hour:
1. Write blog. The typing sounds make it seem like I’m actually working.
2. Go to bathroom even though I don’t need to go.
3. Look at that! I’m out of Diet Coke.
4. Open all the drawers in the Supply Room and see if there’s anything new that I don’t have yet.
5. Try to engage co-workers in non-work-related conversation.
6. Change my Yahoo IM display image…again. I’m a ballroom dancer! Now I’m on a picnic with my Chihuahua! Now I’m a biker!
7. Stare at insurance books pretending to study while I secretly think of song choices for when I compete on American Idol.
8. Check and touch up make-up.
9. Restock sodas in the refrigerator.
10. Stare at my nails and remind myself for the upteenth time that I need to trim my cuticles.
11. Add ink to all of my signature stamps.
12. Check company calendar to see who has appointments and vacations coming up. Yes, I am nosy.
13. Reprogram all the stations on my radio.

Ways to Pretend to Work While I Wait for 4:30
1. Email best friend and brag that I went to Maggiano’s for lunch on the company’s dime.
2. Think of how Katie Holmes has forever ruined the song I Want You to Want Me.
3. Bathroom break!
4. Hands are dry. Must ask a co-worker for lotion.
5. Thirsty. Need Diet Coke.
6. Out of Kleenex…back to the breakroom.
7. Check makeup.
8. Glasses smudged. Need to clean.
9. Restock sodas again.
10. Take time to cut plastic rings from sodas into tiny pieces to protect the marine life who might otherwise get caught and starve to death.
11. Randomly open my desk drawers as if something has magically appeared in them since the last time I opened them.
12. Throw out all pens and highlighters that no longer work.
13. Actually study insurance book.
14. Try to train self to sleep with eyes open.

Anniversary

2006-04-27T16:56:00.000-05:00

Today is my one-year anniversary. I have been at my job for 365 days now, which makes it the second longest place I have ever been employed and the only place where I have not wished for the death of one or more co-workers. That’s kinda sad considering I’m 27 years old, but to be fair, one was a temp job, onec ompany downsized, and one had me working for the poster child of passive-aggressiveness.

The Office: Season 1

2006-04-27T16:54:00.000-05:00

Finally saw the first season of the American version of The Office. I had seen the premiere episode when it first aired, but stopped watching. I had seen the entire British version only a couple weeks before the American version aired, so it was pretty fresh in my mind. The new version seemed pointless considering it seemed to be exactly like its predecessor. But considering its huge fan base and the fact that I am a sheep when it comes to following trends, I decided to give it a go and am glad I did. I watched all six episodes in one sitting and plan to download season two. I don’t remember laughing as hard as I did at the British version. (Maybe because I wasn’t distracted by the subtitles?) Thank god, I’ve never had a boss like Michael, but I found myself nodding several times, saying, “Yep. I’ve been there before.” At least it wasn’t as bad as my first viewing of Office Space, when I found out that the first fifteen minutes of the movie was my life.

Manos Madness

2006-04-25T22:12:00.000-05:00

Which 'Manos Hands of Fate' Character Are You?

You are Maggie the Wife!You stay in a state of being unsure about the situation around you. You get nervous at the mention of small things like 'dark Gods' and 'death.' But hey, who really blames you? If others would listen to you, they would probably still be alive! Dumbasses.
Take this quiz!

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Best. Show. Ever.

2006-04-25T21:11:00.000-05:00

Kristen Bell and Jason Dohring owe me a new television. Their insane chemistry has caused my T.V. to burst into flames. I'm officially now and forever Rob Thomas' bitch.

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire

2006-04-25T18:56:00.000-05:00

Wow! I don't think two and half hours have ever gone by so quickly. The first half hour was a complete blur.

The Good
The New Characters: Brenden Gleeson, Ralph Finnes, Miranda Richardson impressed me to no end.
It was funny...really funny. I wasn't expecting that considering how violently it ends, but I laughed out loud several times.
The eye candy that is Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggory. Is it me, or does he strongly resemble a young Matt Dillon?
The action scenes. The first and second tasks were fantastic, even better than they were written in the book. The special effects have come a long way since the first movie.

The Bad
Herminone: Love the girl, but she spent the entire movie worried, crying, or pissed. Now, my acting experience is limited to my appearance as the Evil Stepmother in my second grade production of Snow White, but I blame the director more than the actress.
Professor Dumbledore: I don't like the way he's written or portrayed. There's a lightness missing.
The Old Characters: I know, I know, things had to be cut, but I did miss Snape, McGonagall, Malfoy, and Sirius.
With the exception of the return of Voldemort, this latest installment really didn't do anything to advance the characters or the plot.

Coupling

2006-04-23T13:57:00.000-05:00

I meant to watch only a couple of epsiodes and ended up wasting my entire weekend watching all four seasons. I am so this show's bitch.

The Worst Movie Ever Made

2006-04-23T13:43:00.000-05:00

Manos: The Hands of Fate...not even Mystery Science Theater 3000 could save this awful, awful movie. According to IMDb.com, it is currently ranked as the 25th worst movie of all time, a number which I think should be a lot lower. Sure Glitter and From Justin to Kelly were terrible movies, but neither can come close to the true wretchedness of Manos. Why is it so bad? Here are just a few reasons.

1. If the day or scenes or performances went poorly, director Hal Warren would reassure the novice cast that any errors would be fixed post-production by the magic of Hollywood. They weren't.

2. The footage of the snake looks a lot better than the rest of the film because it was stock footage lifted from a Disney Nature Documentary.

3. The endless driving sequences at the beginning were supposed to have the opening credits over them, but were for some reason left out.

4. The real reason John Reynolds (Torgo) appears to have big knees and walks funny is because his character is supposed to be a satyr. Reynolds designed his own prosthetics to make himself look like he had goat's feet. You can see that the wife gasps when she first looks down his feet, which the viewer does not get to see.

5. Filmed entirely with a handheld camera that could only record thirty seconds of film at a time. The film was shot without sound; all the lines were later dubbed by only three people - two men and one woman.

Pride & Prejudice

2006-04-22T21:10:00.000-05:00

Saw it twice in two days, but damn Charter is having a problem with its satellite signal or else I would have seen it about half a dozen times.

Another Installment of Boozehound Theatre: Rent

2006-04-22T20:56:00.000-05:00

Hmm…it seems that Microsoft Word recognizes the word “boozehound”. That scares me a bit.

My parents and I have a relationship where the further apart we are, the better we get along, so I tend to go home only on Thanksgiving and Christmas. But when I do go, there is a ritual that I follow to keep me sane during my four hour drive: two huge bottles of Dasani, a bag of Cheddar Cheese Pretzel Combos, and the OBC (Original Broadway Cast) version of Rent, which I sing
to at the top of my lungs. I’ve never seen the actual play, but I love the soundtrack so I was totally psyched when I heard that they were making a movie version. For some reason, I never got around to seeing in the theater, so last week I settled down with my Netflix rental and two bottles of wine.

Six of the eight principle cast members came back for the movie, so it was nice to see and hear the same people in the movie that I heard on the soundtrack. They played these characters for so long that they know them and know how to play them. However, it was painfully obvious that they were all at least ten years older than their character was supposed to be.

I was entertained, but I think I’d have to see it again to make my final judgment on it. There were parts that did seem to drag (Maureen’s protest being one of them). There was another part towards the end that seemed a bit long, but since I was drunk it seems that I’ve blocked that from my memory.

I did like that unlike Chicago, this movie didn’t cop out when it came to the musical numbers. In Chicago, all the singing and dancing occur in Roxie’s mind. In Rent, the characters burst out into song like they’re supposed to. It’s a musical dammit!

In Phantom of the Opera, a musical which is 95% singing, many of the lyrics become dialogue, something that really bothered me for several reasons.
1. I’m used to hearing these words sung. So when they’re spoken, it’s rather jarring.
2. It makes the writers seem lazy. They don’t have much to do in the first place, they can’t come up with some new dialogue?
3. Many of these lyrics rhyme, so when they’re spoken, they make the characters look like idiots. IIRC, Rent really doesn’t do this. I noticed it once in the beginning, but not after that.

Angel. As I’ve said before, I’ve never seen an actual production, but from listening to the soundtrack, I always had this feeling that Angel was the heart of the group and of the musical. He was the one that kept the them together. I didn’t get that feeling from the movie. I completely broke down when he dies, but I think I was mourning more for the musical Angel
than the movie Angel.

And whose idea was it to have Roger singing on top of a cliff in Arizona? It looked like a Creed video.

Raise the Red Lantern

2006-04-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

Beautiful, slow-paced movie about a year in the lifeof a 19-year-old girl in 1920’s China. After her father dies, Songlian’s family can no longer pay for University so she becomes Forth Wife to a feudal lord. Even though at first she cares nothing for the machinations and games played by the other wives to gain favor with the Master, she soon begins plotting her own, eventually leading to a tragic end. In a system structured to pit wife against wife, and the unending boredom of their days, it’s no wonder that Songlian is drawn in…well, that and the excellent foot massages the wife receives when the Master chooses to spend the night with her.

This is a visually beautiful movie and I was disappointed in the quality of the DVD. It was extremely poor, with lots of scratches and pops throughout. The English subtitles were also dreadful, with misspelled words, poor translation, and strange sentence structure. I’d seen part of the movie on television before and I don’t remember the poorquality of the picture or the subtitles, so this may very well be a problem isolated to the DVD version.

Letter to Co-Worker

2006-04-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Not-So-New-Co-Worker,

Everyone, including you, has an In Box and an Out Box. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you would remember to place my incoming mail in my In Box and not throw it on a stack of files I am clearly working on, then ask me if I want it in my In Box or not. Iwould also like to suggest that my incoming mail actually go in my In Box and not my Out Box. I couldn’t care less which box it goes in, I’m actually thinking of you. What happens is that you come around later to pick up the mail, pick up my incoming mail that you’ve placed in my Out Box, and end up redelivering my mail to me.

Why Don't You Like Me?

2006-04-20T16:50:00.000-05:00

So I didn’t get the job I wanted. I wasn’t even looking to switch companies, but I got a call from a recruiter and decided to interview with another insurance company conveniently located down the street from my office. I interviewed twice with them and was told that they were very impressed with me, but alas, they decided to go with someone else. I was so sure I was getting the job too and I must say I’m pretty disappointed. There was more opportunity for promotion (everyone at my current place has been here forever with no sign of leaving) and their starting pay is ridiculously above what I’m making now, which would have greatly helped my dire financial state. According to my recruiter, they want to keep my resume on file for another position opening up. I know that they were looking to hire several people for the position I interviewed for. Why did they only pick one? And why wasn’t it me? I told them of all my excellent qualities: I get along with everyone. (Ok, I may not like them, but I still get along with them.) I’m a fast learner. I do quality work. I’m intelligent. I adapt easily to new surroundings and duties. Did I mention that I get along with everyone? If I could work with my evil, passive-aggressive ex-supervisor who made working for Donald Trump look like a pleasure, I can work with anyone. Ugh…my attempts to make myself feel better by scarfing down three York Peppermint Patties in quick succession has backfired and I now feel gross.

I Think I'm Paranoid

2006-04-20T16:47:00.000-05:00

Today, my favorite radio morning show discussed all the germs one can find in common places. It seems that the most bacteria-ridden areas are elevator buttons and the microwave and refrigerator in office break rooms. Remembering that I had ridden up the elevator, grabbed a Coke from the fridge, and used the microwave to reheat my breakfast, I immediately went to the break room, cleaned the buttons on the microwave, the door handles to the refrigerator, and the handles to the crisper drawers. I’m sure it’s too late and my paltry efforts are in vain. Great, nowI’m going to get The Plague.

Fur Free

2006-04-09T16:42:00.000-05:00

Best Friend finally convinced her boyfriend to let her cat in his house. No more tripping over the cat in my way to the bathroom. No more being woken at 3am by screeching. No more fur on my clothes two seconds after I pull them out of the dryer. No more drying my hair while I try not to pass out from the stench of a freshly laid poo in the litter box three feet behind me.

Walk the Line

2006-04-09T16:31:00.000-05:00

Another movie I viewed while not entirely sober. Excellent performances in a run-of-the-mill biopic.

Letter to Co-Worker

2006-04-09T14:38:00.000-05:00

Dear Not-So-New-Co-Worker,

When a customer calls and requests something, you do not give them attitude and tell them no, especially if said customer is one of biggest clients. I would expect someone with 20+ years of working experience to know this.

P.S. I'd appreciate it if you canned the 'tude when I give you assignments that are on your job description.

Dave Chapelle, Edwardian England, Sci-Fi, College Life, and The Dirtiest Joke Ever Told

2006-04-09T13:04:00.000-05:00

Dave Chappelle's Block Party: Friend had tickets, so I got to see it for free. Entertaining in parts, but some of the musical sequences went on way too long.

Upstairs Downstairs: Season 1: Fascintating series about a family in Edwardian England and their household staff beginning in 1906.

Battlestar Galactica: The Miniseries: I'm not necessarily a sci-fi fan, but had heard this was very good. Look forward to watching the series which is supposed to be even better.

Undergrads: Season 1: Not as funny as I remembered, but still very good. At times it's a much more realistic portrayal of college life than shows like Felicity or ~~Everyone Loves Joey~~ Dawson's Creek.

The Aristocrats: This never should have been a feature-length film. There's just not enough material there and a lot of it isn't even that funny. Most of the comics simply describe the most disgusting, most foul, most perverse acts they can. Unless their delivery is good, it's not that funny. My favorite ones were the kids from South Park (because it's South Park) and Larry Storch. who tells his joke in a posh English accent and talks about a gorilla named Daisy.

Memoirs of a Geisha

2006-04-01T20:12:00.000-05:00

Wow, was this a long movie. I knew the movie took us through WWII, but by the time we got to it I was wondering how much more of the movie was left. It turns out not much because the last part of the movie is rushed. When I realized the last scene was actually the last scene, I thought, that's it? That's how it ends?

I'm not sure if I really liked it or not. It was very beautiful to look at, but I feel it had more style than substance. I was never that invested in any of the characters. Sauyri is very beautiful but she's very...vanilla (for lack of a better word). I didn't feel for her desire to lead her own life despite being a geisha. I think part of the problem for me was the object of her affection. I can understand Sauyri's infatuation with the Chairman as he seemed to the one of the few bright moments in her childhood. But he is her only focus and that's it. She evens says it herself, everything she has ever done was to bring her closer to him. I was also bothered with him having her trained as a geisha in order for him to be with her. It creeped me out a bit with it's kinda Lolita-vibe.

I did love Li Gong's portrayal of Hatsumomo, she was the character I really felt for. Her hatred for the restrictions of being a geisha combined with her all-consuming desire to be the best. After the house has been burned and there is a shot of Hatsumomo walking down the street, I wanted to camera to follow her. Her life is the one I wanted to learn about. How one woman could be so cruel to a young child and yet love a young man deeply.

The Legend of Zzzzzz......

2006-04-01T20:09:00.000-05:00

I once had what I thought was an undying love for Antonio Banderas. Sure, he's made a lot of crappy films, but I can easily feed my Antonio love on a steady diet of The Mask of Zorro and his sex scene with Angelina Jolie in Original Sin. Sure, he's inexplicably married to Melanie Griffin, but that just gives me more hope of being wife #3 after he lips explode from all the collagen.

But then he had to go an hawk his own brand of purfume and star in its commercial. The love died, but I thought not permamently. Deep down I knew that one day he would redeem himself. I thought that day had come with the release of The Legend of Zorro. I was wrong.

I admit I was drunk during the viewing, but I seriously doubt that detracted any from the experience. It was long. It was boring. And the writers could have picked up any elementary school history textbook for a little more historical accuracy (Confederate soldiers in 1850?). Rufus Sewell, who I loved in Dark City and Cold Comfort Farm, sucked at playing a Frenchman. What happened to Elena, who loved the danger and excitement of Zorro? Now all she does is nag him for the very thing that drew her tohim in the first place. And I'm sad to say the chemistry that Zeta-Jones and Banderas had in the first film is no where to be found. I went in wanting to be entertained. I left pissed that I spent $3.99 for the pay-per-view, and wasted two hours of my life.

That Darn Cat!

2006-03-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

My best friend asked me to watch her cat for three months. She was moving back to her parents house while she finished school and they wouldn't let her bring her cat (even though their house is huge and they already have a cat). That was nine moths ago and there is no end in sight. There is fur over every square inch of this apartment (which is only 500 sq. ft. to begin with). I dust and vacuum and five minutes later the fur is back. I wash my clothes, pull them out of the dryer, and there is hair on it. There's even hair in my refridgerator. The cat has knocked over glasses filled with water, woken me up in the middle of the night with her yowling, thrown up on my clothes, and her litter box has stunk up the place. I hate cats.

When Will It End?

2006-03-17T15:39:00.000-05:00

God, I’m so bored at work right now. I’ve been checking policies all week and now my brain is incapable of processing any more information. And I still have forty more minutes to go.

Smoke Free 54 Days and Counting

2006-03-15T12:45:00.000-05:00

I started smoking in college. One of those moronic things I did to secretly "rebel" against my parents and to let the rest of the world know that I wasn't nearly as innocent as they thought. Over the years I tried to quit but would always start back up when I had my latest drinking binge (cigarettes and booze are like candy and flowers, they always go together... sorry, I couldn't think up a more clever analogy). By last fall I was only smoking when I drank, which was every weekend. However, when I contracted the "Please God, let me die" virus aka mono, I stopped smoking for two months. Really, who can smoke when you're barely able to stand, haven't eaten anything but Ensure for nine days straight, have broken out into a rash over you're entire body, and haven't slept for four days? But lo and behold, after my recovery my best friend came over to get drunk and discuss how her boyfriend and she broke up for the 10th time in three months. And as easily as I quit, I started up again.

So how did I finally quit? I woke up with laryngitis. After a night of debauchery with my best friend, I woke up and went to work. It had iced over the night before and my car doors were frozen shut. As I tried pulling on the door handles with all of my might, I let out a "Fuck!" only to realize no sound came out. And no sound would come out over the next few days. I had never had laryngitis before so I went on the web to see what could have caused it. Every source I checked listed excessive drinking and smoking. That was it for me. I couldn't handle not talking, and it was so frustrating to have to write everything down or to wave my hands about like some demented game of charades.

In the end it wasn't the rising cost of cigarettes, or the fear of cancer, or the digusting nature of smoking that lead me to quit. It was the frustration of being unable to speak, and I'm not even much a talker to begin with.

More Movies

2006-03-13T12:01:00.000-05:00

The Upside of Anger : Pleasantly surprised, I really liked it.

Just Like Heaven: Ugh. Even my love for Reese Witherspoon could not save this poor excuse for a movie. And whoever decided that Mark Ruffalo is the go-to guy for the male lead in a romantic comedy should be shot.

Waiting: I believe it got horrible reviews, but I laughed my ass off. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Ryan Reynolds.

The Forty Year Old Virgin: Like all things Steve Carrell, loved it.

The Wedding Crashers: Funny, but not as good as FYOV.

On The Other Hand...

2006-03-12T20:57:00.000-05:00

I did watch Stage Door and The Pride of the Yankees so the day wasn't completely wasted.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

2006-03-12T20:49:00.000-05:00

I just wasted two hours of my life watching The Cutting Edge 2. Why?

Movie Review: In Her Shoes

2006-03-11T23:18:00.000-05:00

I can't stand Cameron Diaz, both as an actress and a person. I find her grating and a fake so I wasn't sure if I was going to like this movie or not.

Rose is a 30 year old lawyer in Philadelphia. Single, driven, and insecure she's so amazed that a handsome partner from her firm sleeps with her that she takes a picture of him sleeping in her bed as proof that the event really occurred. Maggie is a 28 year old manipulative slacker and slob who can't keep a job and sponges off of her father. The only thing she has going for her are her incredible looks which she uses to her full advantage. The only thing thes two sisters have in common are their shoe size which is convenient since Rose has tons of gorgeous shoes she doesn't wear and Maggie loves to borrow them without her permission.

After coming home drunk from her 10 year class reunion, Maggie is thrown out of the house by her stepmother. She stays with Rose but her her ways drive her sister crazy. After coming home from a business trip and finding her apartment trashed and her car impounded, Rose throws Maggie out. To her shock, she later returns to find her sister still there and... in bed with her boyfriend. Rose orders her out of her life and Maggie leaves. Discovering she has a grandmother she knew nothing about she heads off to Miami to take advantage of her, but her grandmother has other plans.

In Her Shoes is definately a chick flick, but it's one of the best I've seen in years. At over two hours long it gives plenty of time to develop it's characters. In a normal romantic comedy, after 90 minutes Rose would find a new guy, Maggie would get a job, and they both would live happily ever after. But that isn't so here. Rose's insecurities don't magically disappear once a new man comes into her life, in some ways her problems multiply. And at the end of the movie, Maggie has found steady work and has found something to do that makes her happy, but she isn't completely a new woman. You just know that in years to come she'll still be driving Rose crazy.

Toni Collette is excellent as always, and I as usual I forgot that she's not American. Cameron Diaz was actually very good, I was impressed. There's a moment just after she's met her grandmother for the first time and you can see from the look on her face that she's sizing her up, trying to see how much she can take advatange of this woman.

Adventures in Employment

2006-03-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

My previous post got me thinking of all the jobs I've had since moving to Atlanta.

October 2001-January 2002: Receptionist for a mid-sized construction/development company. Got the job through a temp agency and the position was supposed to go permament after three months. Bored out of my mind for most of the time, and the dungeon-like lighting in the front didn't help much. I reported to the office manager and to her supervisor who was a total dick that treated me like shit until he realized that I had graduated from college. The president of the company went on two vacations while I was there. Exactly three months after I was hired I went home to find a message on my answering machine from the temp agency telling me that I was no longer needed and to pick up my stuff from their office.

March 2002: Assistant at a temp agency .8 miles from my house. Once again bored out of my mind most of the time while I spoke to applicants in very bad Spanish and tried placing people at a baby bottle factory in Ballground, GA. Let go after three weeks.

March 2002-June 2004: By this time I had started on my Master's. Secretary at the largest commerical window washing company in the city. Not including the window washers, there was the president, my supervisor, and me. Lasted two years which was a year and a half too long. Supervisor was an obsessive, control-freak and evil to her core. Made snide comments to my best friend at the Christmas dinner while she downed three strawberry daqueries in quick succession. After we hired a customer services manager and a salesman, she continually tried to make them look bad. She was fired several months after I left because she started a false rumor in the other branches of the company in other states that the president of our branch (who is known to be totally devoted to his ailing wife) and our customer service manager were having an affair. Apparently, she all of a sudden went completely and totally batshit crazy soon after I left. Celebrating occurred throughout all the other branches when news reached them of her dismissal.

August 2004-March 2005: Office administrator for a marketing firm with its home office in England and with several branches across the globe. Never witnessed so much gossip and backbiting in my entire life. Either ignored or taken advantage of by many of the employees. Despised the people my age who worked there who only seemed interested in talking about what they had just bought or how hard they had partied the night before. Actually ended up hanging out with women in their 40's and having a lot of fun with them. Did not know I was going to be fired until the day I was. The president of our branch, stand up guy that he is, conveniently was out of town the day it all went down. It started at 10:00 with the CFO (who was new) and the Head of HR (also new) firing the newest employee and escorting her to the elevator. My supervisor informed me after lunch that I was going to be let go as well and so was she. I gathered my things, deleted any personal items from my computer, made a lengthy list of everything that needed to be taken care of for whoever took my place, and waited for my turn which came at 3:00. When I was called into the office I said, "Is it my turn now?" They seemed shocked. I think it was because I was so blase about the whole thing. But really, my dignity was the only thing I had left. Listened to the compensation package I was being offered then was escorted to the elevators. Called my supervisor who had been fired before me (why fire the exective assistant to the president of the company?) and found out the lady who had the job before me before being promoted was either going to be fired or demoted back to her original position...nice.

One Year Anniversary

2006-03-10T12:42:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of the courthouse shootings here in Atlanta that left four people dead. I remember when this happened. I was at my best friend's apartment, recently let go from my evil company due to budget cuts (Hey, here's an idea. How about firing your incompetent mistress who can't bring in any new business and hire someone who is actually qualified?). The whole city was paralyzed. Nobody knew to where Brian Nichols had fled or who he would kill next.

Letter to the New Person

2006-03-09T17:03:00.000-05:00

Dear New Co-Worker,

I gave you a list list of all the supplies we order as well as the quantity we keep. I told you we were out of sheet protectors and green paper. This was two weeks ago. Why are we still out of these items?

Oscar Watch: Hour 4

2006-03-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

Man I'm fading fast.

Reese Witherspoon as best actress. She didn't need to thank every memeber of her family, but she's still adorable. At least she didn't get hysterical and incoherent, or thank her accountant, or refused to be played off the stage.

So that's what Larry McMurtry looks like. And now I know how to pronounce Proulx.

Uma Thurman...looking good. A lot of pale colored gowns tonight.

Is that Busy Phillips next to Michelle Williams? Has she given up on trying for a post-Dawson's Creek career and decided to follow Michelle around to all the awards shows?

Ang Lee. Love him. Loved The Ice Storm, Sense and Sensibility, Eat Drink Man Woman, Couching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Ok, now for the final award. Please, please, please not Crash. And there's Jack Nicholson. Still showing up for these things. Still wearing to stupid sunglasses.

Shit! Crash won. There went my winning streak. OK, this is one time I'm glad the orchestra played someone off the stage. They knew they had an excellent chance of winning. They knew they would have a lot of people to thank. A little prep work would have helped.

So we went 29 minutes over. Crash winning best picture seemed to be the only surprise, although a lot of people predicted this would happen. So another Oscars has come and gone and I can look forward to a run of sub-par movies until the Summer blockbuster season and a Fall/Winter rush release of actaully decent movies. I'm exhausted.

Oscar Watch: Hour 3

2006-03-05T22:02:00.000-05:00

I think my television is going to melt from hotness that is Eric bana.

Thanks to the sound mixing guys for keeping it brief.

Is there a picture of Lily Tomlin aging in an attic somewhere? I love her and Meryl, but this gag was about two minutes too long. NOOOO!!!! Stop the clip montages!!!! Is Robert Altman actually responsible for Popeye?

Another musical performance. Ooh... a Veronica Mars rerun on UPN!

Ever since Marisa Tomei tripped on her way to collect her Oscar, I've wondered how long it would be before another actress tripped in her four inch heels. Looks like Jennifer Garner still has some of her baby weight.

How many times are the words "George Clooney" going to be spoken tonight?

Anne Bancroft narrowly edges out Brock Peters and Shelley Winters for the "We Love This Dead Person the Most" Award. Must they clap?

Phillip Seymour Hoffman. No surprise there. And the streak continues. Wow, he really started to ramble there at the end. But at least he seemed sincere and didn't start thinking his agent and publicist. *cough*Hllary Swank*cough*

Five minutes until 11 and six Oscars to go. Yeah, we're going waaay overtime.

John Travolta is presenting? Is he still relevent anymore? When's the last time he made a movie anyone wanted to see?

Oscar Watch: Hour 2

2006-03-05T21:10:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Rachel Weisz for keeping up my winning streak. I'm sure she appreciated having the announcer remind everyone that she was in The Mummy Returns.

Yay for the tribute to the film nior. I love Lauren Bacall, but it's really hard to watch her struggling with the monologue. Should I be worried that I've seen most of the movies they showed?

Stephen Colbert narrating election ads for the lead actress nominees? Dame Judi Densch taking out another dame's eye in a bar fight? Love.

What is that on Charlize's shoulder? A black satin pillow?

I see Jenny From the Block decided to wear her mink eyelashes tonight. Way to keep it real JLo. But I do love the dress.

Oh, God. Some chick is singing some boring song while random people wander around a burning car. Let's see what else is on tonight. I could be watching an episode of Star Trek: TNG, Steel Magnolias, Bad Boys II, Scary Movie 3, 8 Mile, Mulan, Cruel Intentions, or Air Bud II en Espanol.

About this new show Miracle Workers. The surgeries they are performing are extremely radical and there is no guarentee of success. What happens if they don't work? ABC just doesn't air their segment.

Everyone always complains and makes jokes about how long the Oscar ceremony is. Maybe if they didn't have these self-congratulatory tributes every thirty minutes we on the East Coast could go to bed at a decent hour.

I just totally spaced out while the president of the Academy did his little speech.

Is there a requirement that Selma Hyack either be nominated or present every year? I have no idea what she said, I'm just staring at her boobs.

Wow, I fogrgot Jake Gyllenhaal was so hot. What is this, another montage? I always wanted the Sharks to beat the Jets.

Thank you Jon for voicing what I thought.

Oscar Watch: Hour 1

2006-03-05T20:24:00.000-05:00

I love Jon Stewart and want to have his babies. I was totally stoked when I found out that he was hosting and was really looking forward to tonight. But I thought his opening monologue was just o.k. I don't know if was really nervous, but it seemed that his delivery was a little off on some of the jokes. And of course some of the jokes fell a bit flat.

George Clooney wins the first award of the night and does something very rare...gives a acceptance speech that doesn't make me want to change the channel. He kept it brief, didn't thank everyone he had ever met, didn't babble, was smart, funny, and seemed truely touched. Man needs to give lessons.

What's with the music in the background during the acceptance speeches?

Thank God they nixed that horrible way they presented some of the awards last year. Having all the nominees lined up on stage liked they were about to be asked how to best achieve work peace. Or having all the nominees sit together in the very back of the auditorium and having the winner give his/her speech practically from his/her chair. Here's an idea...how about having all the nominees sit together in the front?

Love the guys from Wallace and Grommit.

Naomi Watts, what are you wearing?

I adore Dolly Parton. 9 to 5 was one of my favorites as a child. Damn, but she's tiny. It's hard to see that when your distracted by all the boobage.

Gawd! Please go away Jennifer Anniston. Come back when you've made a decent movie, and changed your hair. But I love your dress.

Russell Crow, you can go away too. And take that stupid spit curl with you.

Okay, that was freaky. When wthey showed clip of Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer as Morrison together, I thought that Kilmer was Morrison and Morrison was Kilmer.

I heart Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell. Did they decide to wear matching suits and ties?

Please Don't Let It Be Crash

2006-03-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

I don't go to the movies a lot, preferring the comforts of my couch to the ass-numbing chairs of a theater, but in past years I've tried to see at least a few movies up for an Oscar. This year? Two. Pride and Prejudice, which I saw twice in two days. And March of the Penguins. That's it. And there were many excellent movies this year. But here's how I think it will all go down.

Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Actor: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz

Book Review: Strong Poison

2006-03-05T08:53:00.000-05:00

While holding a sign on a streetcorner for five hours yesterday (long story), I had the opportunity to read Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers. This is one in a series of mysteries featuring amateur sleuth Lord Peter Wimsey and the first to feature his love interest, mystery writer, Harriet Vane. The story begins in a court room at the trial of Harriet who has been accused of poisoning her lover, Philip Boyes. Lord Peter, sitting in the courtroom, is immediately captivated by her. After the jury is unable to agree whether or not she is innocent, a new trial is announced. Convinced of her innocence, Lord Peter offers his services to Harriet Vane and then has one month to find the real murderer.

This was my first Sayers novel and although it has it's flaws I enjoyed it very much. The first chapter is pretty much the judge reviewing the evidence for the jury. It's informative, but rather long. I've seen the television adaptation so I skipped a lot of it. And despite this being the first Sayers mystery to feature Harriet Vane, she is in very little of it, appearing only when Lord Peter visits her in jail. I've heard that this is one of Sayers' more weaker mysteries, but it's still very good nonetheless. Lord Peter is pretty much perfect in everyway. He's rich, intelligent, charming, an excellent athlete, an exceptionial musician, and has been told he makes love rather nicely. But for all of his accomplishments, he never comes across as a Mary Sue.

Promiscuous Reader

2006-03-03T15:05:00.000-05:00

I have realized that I am unable to stay faithful to one book. I pick it up, I start reading it, I'm enjoying it, then months later I discover it unfinished under my bed while I've started and abandoned several other books in the meanwhile. While clockwatching at work, I tried to think of all the books I've started (some more that once) and for some reason never finished:

Reading Lolita in Tehran (am trying again)
Our Mutual Friend (started twice)
1984
The Bell Jar
Alias Grace
The Red Tent (currently sitting in my desk drawer at work)
Breakfast at Tiffany's
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (also sitting in my desk drawer at work)
Three Men in a Boat
The Children on Henry VIII
Villette
Dead Man Walking
Beloved
Moll Flanders
Live From New York
The Girls
The Blind Assassin
Princess
Bitch
Sex and the City
Teh Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Marie Antoinette
The Sisters

P&P Deathmatch! A Latter Day Comedy

2006-03-03T13:44:00.000-05:00

So I started my Pride and Prejudice marathon with the “Mollywood” version, Pride and Prejudice: A Latter Day Comedy. Released in 2003 and starring a largely unknown cast, it had a very limited release in the theaters before its release on DVD.

In this version, Regency England has been replaced with early 21st century Utah where all of the characters (with the exception of Darcy and his sister Anna) are Mormons. Elizabeth Bennett has just turned 25 and has aspirations to become a writer. While all the other girls around her are looking to catch a man, Lizzie is focused on college and getting her first novel, The Iron Carriage, published (what I didn’t get was why Lizzie was 25 and still an undergrad). She lives with sisters Lydia and Kitty Meryton, Mary Lambton, and best friend Jane Vasquez. Lydia’s parents bought her the house to make her seem more domestic to potential suitors. While Jane is her usual sweet self, Mary is portrayed as a religious spinster in training, and Lydia (armed with The Pink Bible, a kind of The Rules for the LDS set) is out looking for a man with put-upon accomplice Kitty at her side.

I thought P&P translated nicely from Regency England to current day LDS. Not only do they encourage girls to marry early, pre-marital sex is verboten, and the church plays an important role. Although to be perfectly honest, they could have had the girls attend a Baptist, Methodist, Catholic or even a non-denominational church. Any reference to LDS was pretty much cut from the movie. They don’t even mention that they are in Provo or that they attend BYU. There is another version on the DVD that has the references restored, but even those are pretty mild.

The good parts? Utah is gorgeous and the cinematographer shows it beautifully. Also, I loved the sets. They were done all in very bright colors in a girly retro style like an old Doris Day movie. This brightness continues to the wardrobe of a lot of the actors and extras. The effect is handled nicely and makes it more fun instead of retina searing. And while the acting ranges from average to very good, the stand out is Hubbel Palmer. He has almost no acting experience but is absolutely wonderful as Collins, an assistant pastor who is desperate to get married. The scene where he proposes to Lizzie, and the one where he rails against her during a church service for rejecting him are both hilarious. Another favorite scene takes place after Lizzie has had her novel rejected and Jane has found out Bingley is leaving. Neither of them have moved from the couch all week long. They’ve been sleeping on the sofa, eating take out food, watching TLC, and using a reaching stick to pull back the curtains so they can tell what time of the day it is. There are pizza boxes, soda cans, and empty bags of chips completely covering the floor. We’ve all been there before. Well, at least I have.

The bad parts? It keeps the plot points: the Assembly Ball becomes a party at Bingley’s home, Darcy’s first proposal becomes a invitation for a date, Elizabeth’s visit to Rosings becomes a meeting with Darcy at Rosings Restaurant, the letter from Darcy becomes an email from Darcy, Elizabeth’s accidental meeting with Darcy at Pemberley becomes her accidental meeting with him at his home in the woods, and Lydia’s elopement with Wickham becomes an elopement to Vegas. For the most part, it’s all there, but there is something missing. It’s a very artificial retelling of the story: Boy likes girl, girl hates boy, girl really hates boy, boy explains himself, girl feels badly, boy saves girl’s friend, boy and girl end up together. I don’t think this is necessarily a terrible thing. I believe that most new fans of Jane Austen are initially drawn to her work because of this premise and with time come to appreciate and love her wit and sarcasm. But in my opinion, this artificiality keeps it a couple notches above an ABC Family Original Movie. Also, I never really saw a reason for Lizzie to really fall for Darcy. Sure he’s handsome and rich, but that’s not really enough. In the novel, Lizzie has to find out that she was wrong about Darcy’s fundamental character, that he really is a good person. But Darcy also has to realize that he does rank himself higher than others and his first proposal was insulting and condescending. In the movie, Darcy sends an email to Lizzie saying that he always says what he thinks and that sometimes it offends people. Oh, and he’s sorry that he offended her. It’s like when someone apologizes not for what they did to you, but instead apologizes for how their actions hurt you, which really annoys me. Anyway, that’s all it takes for Lizzie to do a complete 180 and she starts falling for him.

All in all I really enjoyed it, and I’ve watched is several times. If you liked it then the commentary is not to be missed. The writer and director tell some really great anecdotes about the making of the film. But if you’ve never seen it before, I do think it’s important to go into it with an open mind. I like to think of it as a really good piece of fanfic that has been made into a movie. Is it a great movie? No. Is it entertaining? Definitely.

Book Review: Middlesex

2006-03-01T23:10:00.000-05:00

Words cannot describe just how much I loved this book. I read The Virgin Suicides a few years ago and never really got into it, so I had reservations when I started this one. This book caught me from the first sentence and I finished it in a couple of days.

I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974.

With an opening line like that, how can you not be intrigued? It's about a girl named Calliope who at fourteen discovers she is a hermaphrodite and becomes Cal. But it's about so much more than Calliope becoming Cal. The novel takes us from her grandparents fleeing the Turkish invasion of Greece in the 1920's and their arrival to Detroit to the birth of their children, through the Depression and Prohibition, through WWII and the race riots of the 60's.

What's the most fascinating thing to me is the speculation of how much of the plot is based on Jeffrey Eugenides' life. Eugenides, like Cal, was born in Detroit, lives in Berlin, and is of Greek heritage. Eugenides is married to an Asian female and in the novel Cal becomes involved with an Asian female. The description of the adult Cal even looks like Eugenides. Now, I don't think that Eugenides is necessarily a hermaphrodite, but I do think it's interesting that he put so much himself in the novel and in such an obvious way.

The Purpose? I Have No Idea.

2006-03-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

Instructions: Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you might read, cross out the ones you won't, underline the ones on your book shelf, and place parentheses around the ones you've never even heard of.

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
~~His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman~~
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
~~The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien~~
(The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon)
~~Lord of the Flies - William Golding~~
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
~~Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk~~
~~Neuromancer - William Gibson~~
(Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson)
(The Secret History - Donna Tartt)
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C. S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
~~The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien~~
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman)
Atonement - Ian McEwan
(The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
~~The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway~~
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
~~Dune - Frank Herbert~~

Not too bad. There should be another option for the books you've started, but not yet finished. Thanks to my 11th and 12th grade English teachers!

How Abnormal Am I?

2006-03-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

This shit is like crack.

You Are 48% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Just How Evil Am I?

2006-03-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

Surprisingly, I'm not quite as evil as I thought.

You Are 42% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Pride and Prejudice Deathmatch!

2006-03-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

In honor of the latest release of Pride and Prejudice, I have decided to view all of its versions and debate the merits of each. Which means a trip to Best Buy. My viewing schedule:

Thursday: Pride and Prejudice: A Latter Day Comedy
Friday: Pride and Prejudice (2006)
Saturday: Pride and Prejudice (1995)

Thursday: Pride and Prejudice (1940)
Friday: Bride and Prejudice
Saturday: Pride and Prejudice (1980)

Book Review: Persuasion

2006-03-01T19:33:00.000-05:00

Jane Austen is my favorite writer, and Persuasion is one of my favorite books ever. It's not as popular as Pride and Prejudice, as technically perfect as Emma, or as funny as Northanger Abbey, but it is a beautiful work about a second chance at love. Persuasion is the last novel Austen ever wrote and tells the story of Anne Elliot. At 27 she has lost her good looks, is considered an old maid, and continues to pine for Lt. Frederick Wentworth, a man she rejected eight years earlier. Meanwhile her father has squandered the family fortune and must rent out their home and move to Bath. The home is rented by an Admiral Croft and his wife who is the sister of Frederick Wentworth, now a captain in the navy and very wealthy. Anne must stand by and watch Wentworth court her brother-in-law's young and vivacious sisters, Henrietta and Louisa Musgrove. Will Anne and Frederick ever get together again? Was there ever any doubt?

Anne is Austen's most perfect heroine. She is level-headed, intelligent, compassionate, and most importantly, she knows who she is. She is either unloved and/or unappreciated by her family, but she is never bitter.

Persuasion also contains one of the most romantic passages I've ever read. After overhearing a debate Anne has with a friend over the constancy of affection in men versus women, Wentworth writes her a letter:

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half angony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust and resentful I may have been, weak and restenful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to bath. For you alone I think and plan...

*sigh*

Book Review: The Crimson Petal and the White

2006-03-01T19:09:00.000-05:00

I really, really wanted to love The Crimson Petal and the White, but it ended up a little disappointing. It took me almost a year to finish and I spent four months trying to finish the last 50 pages. I even tried reading it while I was sicked in bed with mono and bored out of my mind (a time I like to call the month from hell where I prayed for my death on a daily basis). I'm not sure why I had such a difficult time with it. The book was interesting and engrossing, and I really felt for all of the characters. There were no evil or bad people, just a group that seemed to be fated to their lot in life because of their class, gender, socio-economic status, and the Victorian Era. Michael Faber is extremely descriptive and I loved how the lives of his characters all intertwined (like Dickens, but on a much smaller scale).

I think what really irked me about the book was the ending. I just felt let down after 800 pages. I finished it and went, "That's it? That's how it ended?" William ends up beaten up and alone and Sugar runs away with his daughter. Huh? Why? Waht happens next?

Book Review: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

2006-03-01T18:42:00.000-05:00

This was a re-read for me, and I had forgotten just how good it was. Funny, hopeful, heartbreaking, but never depressing, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is about young, bright girl named Francie Nolan who lives with her parents and younger brother in the slums of Brooklyn during the first decade of the 20th century. She adores her father Johnny, a young handsome Irishman who charms everyone and sings beautifully, but is an alcoholic and often unable to support his family. She also often clashes with her mother Katie, a no-nonsense, hard working woman who has become disillusioned by life because of her marriage to Johnny. She wants to make sure that her children are aware of the realities and harshness of life.

I had thought of this work as a children's book, which it is in many ways. But I had forgotten how honestly and openly Betty Smith talks about issues that one doesn't usually see in children's/young adult books. In one scene, Francie is attacked by a child molester, in another she discusses having sex with a boy she has been seeing. And of course, there is the ongoing problem of Johnny's alcoholism. Smith is never vulgar or crude in her descriptions, but she doesn't avoid these topicsn either.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is a substantial sized work, but it covers a lot of territory: the journey of Francie from young girl to young woman, the courtship of Katie and Johnny, and the lives of Katie's three sisters. It's thoroughly entertaining and engrossing.

This is Why I Hate Training the New Person

2006-02-28T18:53:00.000-05:00

Dear New Co-Worker:

When I tell you that we order supplies from Office Depot and toner cartridges from Laser Products, why do you order the toner from Office Depot? Are you hard of hearing? Did you just ignore me when I was telling you this? Is Laser Products the new street term for Office Depot?Or do you just enjoy having me bitched out for not training you properly?

The Apathetic Procrastinator

2006-02-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

ap·a·thet·ic adj.
Feeling or showing a lack of interest or concern; indifferent.
Feeling or showing little or no emotion; unresponsive.
pro·crasti·nator n.
Someone who postpones work (especially out of laziness or habitual carelessness)

That would be me... obviously. It's just a fancier way of saying I'm lazy and indifferent, and it makes for a much catchier blog title.

So why does a procrastinator have her own blog? Well, partly because I'm a sheep when it comes to trends. It was either this or buy a poncho. Also because I've been trying to keep a journal for a while and typing is much easier than writing. So I'll see how long I can keep this up.